Well done the Constabulary!

Wednesday 16th April

Last evening, while Brenda was cooking a sinus busting chipotle pork, she espied a dodgy looking yoof putting up a small ladder against the ‘bite-yer-bum’ topped security fence to an industrial yard opposite. He looked around him, pulled his grey camo hoody down over his face and went up said ladder and over the fence, narrowly avoiding ‘shredded-crutch’ syndrome. Another look about and he was gone. What to do? It was well after office hours, the front gate was only a couple of hundred yards away. Didn’t look right so I dialled 101 to report a possible crime happening as we watched.

After a couple of minutes listening to a recording of Sir Bernard Hogan-How telling me what a good job the Met do, I was put through to a Police telephonist. I explained that I was a visitor to the area, on a canal boat and what I could see. Then came the inevitable question – “what’s your postcode?” How the **** should I know? “Where abouts exactly are you?” Even with the help of Mr Nicholson I could only estimate a location that made no sense at all to the call handler. Any how, crime number CRS8670 15/4/2014 was logged so we got on with our supper. About 20 minutes later camouflaged yoof appeared back over the fence and dived into the hedge. Then he produced tools various that included a pick-axe and started hacking away at something under the fence. Elfin safety would have required at least a hi-viz , hard hat and goggles but he did look a bit more legitimate now. I dialled 101 again and after listening to Sir Bernard yet again, informed the call handler that it was less likely that criminal intent was occurring. And then a copper appeared. Very plain clothes; only his warrant card flashed from a lanyard around his neck identified him. Words were had and off he went. Yoof was last seen clambering over the fence almost removing his testes as his trousers momentarily caught on the sharp pointy bits atop the fence.

That’s a court case I’d like to witness; industrial injury meets common sense and health and safety. We’re very sorry for the wild goose chase but can report a good response from the Met.

A fresh moorhen egg was there for us this morning, laid on one of our tyre fenders between the boat and the bank. I asked Brenda if it was edible but she said she had no intention of trying to cook it. Stupid bird. (the moorhen, not Brenda)

I was cruising along the Paddington Arm by 8am. Brenda stayed abed a while, only taking over the tiller once she had eaten her breakfast so that I could have mine. We stopped for water by the Black Horse at bridge 15 only to find nb Elbereth all closed up but moored on the water point. Not possible to go in front as we would block the bridge and there were other boats moored behind so we had to work around, on and over said nb Elbereth.

From then it was an un-eventful and pleasant run into Paddington. At Union Tavern we spotted nb Donnatella sporting a Cutweb sticker in the window and we know Gecko is about here somewhere too. We went into Paddington basin but there were no moorings free so we winded and moored, in the only free space in the arm, outside Paddington station entrance.

Wouldn’t you know, just as we’d settled another boat left the basin. Too much bother to move now.

Graham